Saturday, November 22, 2008

Where is time going?

Poppies



More Poppies

Boy, I never thought it would be so frustrating or hard to paint in water colors. I also didn't realize how much I try to control the process. I thought that it would be so easy to just splash paint around and have it look like Michelle's work. No such luck. I think some of us are not meant to play with water colors. These are attempts at fields of poppies. I need so much more practice with this. I'll give it more time and see if I can come up with something more free.

Where does the time go? It's getting close to Christmas and I've just been in wait I guess. What I'm waiting for I don't know. I have reached an empty spot within me. That's the only way I can explain it. It's probably grief. Maybe empty nest. Maybe fear. I have been here before and I think it's time to reinvent myself. I feel that I have been left behind. I'm not with it! I'm not trusting. I don't want to reinvent myself. I want everyone to wait for me to get done with this feeling. I am still contemplating a doll class. I almost have it finished. Then I just get stubborn and stop. Maybe it's the fear that I'm good enough. It's not good enough. I don't know. I feel lazy, tired, stuck and ungrateful. This too shall pass.

2 comments:

Kims Art said...

Let me lay to rest your feelings of not being good enough or your fear. You are very talented and if you feel lead to teach. It will be good for you. Focus on the dolls and teaching and before you know it, you will begin to feel like yourself again. I also find myself drawn to watercolor when I am trying to lighten up. It's just another way of reminding us that things sometimes happen and if we will just let it happen, like watercolor, it might not be a bad thing.

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